Wasted Words

"Speak clearly, if you speak at all; carve every word before you let it fall." -Oliver Wendell Holmes

As a child my mother would count the "likes" and stammers in my speech. She constantly challenged me to speak with confidence and clarity, something I struggled with continually; I dreaded speaking in front of others and could not carry myself with "the idealized sense of eloquence." But as my confidence grew I began to challenge myself, I began to understand the power I held with my words and the potential they carried if used properly.

As my ability to communicate evolved, I used my words to help others, to help myself, and found a leader within me yearning to break free. But as others struggled to communicate as I once did, I began to listen more than speak, and observe the communication of those around me. Our ability to communicate effectively lies equally in our confidence to speak and our humility to listen. Through this only did I realize a larger destructive failure of many to communicate.

We waste our words on profanity, on ugly, meaningless words. We lack verbal filters and aforethought, and hasten to spew out words that carry no purpose. This is the real challenge, a wide scale inability to make each word count, after all its is our honest words, the reflection of our values and actions, that show who we are.

As leaders, it is up to each of us to model a higher standard of communication. It is our personal challenge to cut out the shits and the damns, and speak with purpose. This is how we better our capabilities to communicate and our abilities to impact people with our words.

I Believe in Gratefulness

"In our daily lives, we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but the gratefulness that makes us happy." -Albert Clarke

I believe in gratefulness, that all we have is all we need, and our personal happiness is created through choosing to be grateful. I understand that we are all faced with hardship, we are limited, and confined, forced to make do with insufficiency and obstacles. But I'd like to believe that we are better for it, that we grow into ourselves through the hardship and struggle we overcome. I believe there is strength in choosing to be grateful. 

My parents came to America with nothhing; fresh after marriage they left their lives behind in India for the promise of a better future. Looking at the success they now hold, their humble beginnings are not often appreciated or remembered, but I will never forget. My mother was only 20 years old, scared, miles away from her family, and faced with a great magnitude of new responsibilities in a foreign world. My father was in over his head, trying to support my mother and himself, working multiple jobs with almost no rest, no sleep, and barely enough to survive another day. Yet every night they would thank God for the food they had before them, the roof over their heads, and the fact that they had each other, their gratefulness was their salvation.  

My father worked as a pizza delivery boy for Dominos, as one of his many part time jobs, he earned minimum wage and was forced to work the night shifts almost every week. But one night his delivery almost took his life. He had just arrived outside a customer's home and was walking towards the main street when the was stopped by a man unidentifiable behind him holding a knife to his neck. The man demanded all the pizza boxes, all my father's money, and complete cooperation, he obliged with only my mother's image in his thoughts keeping him going, keeping him constant. My father walked away with nothing more than momentary fear and a deep gash, with his appreciation for life fully renewed. 

Today my dad is a vice president of marketing in Hitachi Data Systems, but his achievements have not erased the memory of where he began, where he and my mom had come from. They always believed that gratefulness is the key to happiness, and with little to be grateful for, they lived lives of contentment and appreciation. I think that is where I get my sense of gratitude. I am grateful for the life my brother and I enjoy today, and I realize the sacrifice, the hardship, the difficulty that my parents overcame to bring us where we are now. But more importantly I am grateful for the people that raised me with such strong values and morals and purpose, and blazed a trail of pure joy and love that I wish to follow. 

I believe in gratefulness, that all I have is more than enough, and I will continue to count my blessings as long as I live.

She Believes in a Silver Lining

"The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall." -Nelson Mandela

http://thisibelieve.org/essay/3583/

Annaliese Jakimides' son committed suicide when he was 21. Today she keeps his memory alive by talking with everyone she meets - just the way he use to. In these personal connections, Annaliese believes she has found a silver lining in her youngest son's death. Here is an excerpt of her story:

"I'm 57. Divorced after 28 years of marriage, I no longer have a house. I own very little, make a marginal living, and I lost my youngest child to suicide when he was 21. At my core I am grateful for it all - even my son's death. It gave me the lens through which to see everything. 

I believe in a silver lining.

 I will forever carry my son with me. How can a mother not? This is the only choice I had: I could either carry him as a bag of rocks or I could live a life celebrating him."  

I think her story is so powerful. Often we choose to place ourselves in a victim position, and don't find the strength to carry on, to pick ourselves up. Many I'm sure would not have been able to brave such hardship as Annaliese did. Her story is proof that we can be strong, we can continue, and we as individuals are fully capable of achieving great things with a sense of purpose and optimism. When I first heard her story my eyes welled with tears, I could not understand how one who has lost so much has remained so positive, so uplifted, and motivated, her words reinvigorated my spirit. My biggest fear is losing those I love most, the thought of having to live life without them is something I can't yet imagine or come to terms with. I hope when the time comes I will be strong enough to handle myself with the same grace and courage as Annaliese. And until then I will hold her story in my heart and marvel at her strength in moving forward, her essay has forever changed my life. 

"Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before." - Edgar Allan Poe

I think I was afraid to say the least, afraid to leave what was comfortable and known. To me the idea of growing up was as scary as it is was exciting, after high school it seems as though we are thrown headfirst into the unknown. And as a college-bound senior I understood all too well that things were about to change so significantly. I don't think anyone understood why the thought of college was so daunting to me, no one seemed to share my struggle. And the closer I came to graduation, the more I realized it was the future that scared me most.

I began dreaming as a child, wishing I could accomplish so many incredible things in my life. But the reality only truly set in senior year, that I was actively making choices and decisions now that would shape the person I become, the future I would create for myself. And I began to wonder what if I couldn't do it, what if I let myself down? My uncertainty terrified me, and my dreams started to seem too big, too far, too high to reach.  

But I'm still dreaming, the difference is I'm finally doing something about it. I'm not scared anymore, not hesitant nor doubtful, I am finally where I'm supposed to be, excited about what is in store for me.  I feel challenged and inspired everyday, and so blessed to be a part of a community like Santa Clara. College is where the magic happens, the people, the professors, the journey onward is what we all wait for, this is my defining moment.

I think it's funny looking back, just this time last year things were so different. My whole perspective has shifted, and for the better, it seems my optimism has no bounds. In 15 weeks I'd like to think I've already come such a long way from the girl that graduated last June. So let me dream big and far and high, and show the world what I'm made of.

The Power of Words

"It is not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that makes happiness." -Charles H. Spurgeon  

Happiness is a choice, not a destination, something well within our power and control. In each of our lives we are met with obstacles and hardship, unimaginable difficulty, yet we hear stories time and time again of ordinary heroes that somehow make the best of the life they are given. But I think we are all powerful, in the sense that we can make each day worth living through the choices we make and the attitude we present. We are not the victim of our circumstances, but truly capable of making a difference in our lives and the lives of others, that is our personal challenge. This is one of my favorites videos, a true testament to the power of positivity. Through the eyes of a blind man we see the way people respond to a changed perspective, and thus see the power of our words, actions, and attitude. I know this week has been difficult for many of you, but I challenge you now to revise your outlook, and make the conscious choice to be happy. :)