Farewell

"Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them - that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like." - Lao Tzu

With graduation complete and my room all emptied, the end of college has finally hit me, and all the emotion along with it. So of course I took to pen out my thoughts and this is what flew out:

Farewell.
Farewell is the word they have forced upon my lips, to stand before the past 4 years of growth, of pain, of joy, to dismiss, it all-everything, in favor of what comes next. But then I wonder what indeed follows this, what shall I miss to venture forth from here-

A farewell to the home I've found, a farewell to that silent sound, my mind to mind myself through time which claims no rigid bound. A farewell to a me I've left behind, a girl who's come to prove the grace of time. A farewell to my failures and the dark, which pushed me to the peak I made to mark, a farewell to those few who led me here, those living or unseen who masked my fear. A farewell to my chance to dream, for dreamers must awaken be, a farewell to a place to fall, for falling now can take it all, away.

Farewell, I say, farewell, I say, farewell, I say. Now let us rise beyond yesterday, for I am coming for today.

Cross the line

"Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose." -From the show The Wonder Years

I came to Santa Clara with the desire to find people that challenge and inspire me, and thus hopefully better myself through experiences both good and bad. Since stepping on campus I've been so amazed by the people around me, and I'd like to think that this is an environment in which I can thrive and maybe even shine. But in all my months thus far I truly believe that Leadership has done more for me than I could have imagined. The past ten weeks have given me news things to love, time to rediscover myself, and the ability to realize what makes me the best version of myself. I found myself surrounded by people I grew to love, ideas and innovation that I so admired, and this reinvigorated sense of purpose within me. ELP will forever hold a special place in my heart, and to all of your that made this journey what it is was I say this. Thank you for inspiring me with your passion, and humbling me with your courage, thank you for forcing me to listen and for showing me the power of silence. I think half way through the course was my true turning point, when together we were challenged to look within ourselves and cross the line. I felt safe enough to be vulnerable and open, a true testament to the trust we shared and the impact you have all had on me. My eyes were opened, and in that moment I think I was finally able to step out of my bubble, I remembered why I fell in love with leadership to begin with. There is this whole world outside of the one I am confined in, and I remember that I want to be a part of it, that I want to impact people and influence change. But I think most importantly I remembered that I am not alone, that there are those, inspiring, amazing individuals, that truly want the same.

And so I hope to keep moving forward, I hope to expand my impact beyond the boundaries of Santa Clara. While I have been given the tools to understand my weaknesses, I have been reminded that they are  less of a weakness and more of an opportunity to grow and better myself. My preferences may differ in how I choose to lead, but it is important to understand the other side, and maybe even incorporate those facets into who I am. So maybe it is okay if I don't have all the answers, as long as I am not afraid to look for them. And being afraid is something I no longer am.            

The Stages

"Individuals play the game, but teams beat the odds." - SEAL Team saying

This week we were given several videos and were asked to identify which stage of Tuckman's Growth Development Theory they fall within:

Clip One: This excerpt from the film Coach Carter displays the "Norming" stage of Group Development. We can observe a team united under one goal, in which they choose to fall, succeed, and struggle together, that is the essence of a team.

Clip Two: The second captures the final moments of the Disney film Aladdin, and thus explores the "Adjourning" stage of Group Development.  This clip falls after the climax of the movie, and thus shows the team parting their separate ways after a successful group effort. Though there is some apprehension in moving forward, all the characters understand that the time has come to say goodbye and head in a new direction.

Clip Three: This next clip is taken from an all time great Remember the Titans, though prior to the coming together of the team. In this excerpt the team is dis-unified, and individuals question one another and reflect on themselves and the team as a whole. This behavior mirrors the "Storming" stage and raises very real tension and issues regarding race and disloyalty.

Clip Four: The last excerpt is taken from Finding Nemo and documents the escape from 42 Wallaby Way Sydney. After careful planning and unification, the time has come for Nemo and his friends to execute the escape plan. Each character plays a part in the escape plot, from the pelican's distraction to the careful placement of the rock to unsanitize the fish bowl, the team came together under a common purpose and are ready to meet their objective of breaking free.  

My Clip: I narrowed the missing stage to "Forming", the initial coming together of a team or group. My clip of choice is from one of my favorite movies The Blind Side, based on a true story. This excerpt highlights the moral, if you will, of the movie that we as individuals show our strength in fighting for the people that matter and stepping up in the face of adversity. Being a leader does not necessarily mean owning the spot light, sometimes being a leader is knowing how to be part of something much larger than ourselves. Michael demonstrates this principle, and brings a misguided and lost football together under the measure of dedication and true commitment to one another and football.  

Wasted Words

"Speak clearly, if you speak at all; carve every word before you let it fall." -Oliver Wendell Holmes

As a child my mother would count the "likes" and stammers in my speech. She constantly challenged me to speak with confidence and clarity, something I struggled with continually; I dreaded speaking in front of others and could not carry myself with "the idealized sense of eloquence." But as my confidence grew I began to challenge myself, I began to understand the power I held with my words and the potential they carried if used properly.

As my ability to communicate evolved, I used my words to help others, to help myself, and found a leader within me yearning to break free. But as others struggled to communicate as I once did, I began to listen more than speak, and observe the communication of those around me. Our ability to communicate effectively lies equally in our confidence to speak and our humility to listen. Through this only did I realize a larger destructive failure of many to communicate.

We waste our words on profanity, on ugly, meaningless words. We lack verbal filters and aforethought, and hasten to spew out words that carry no purpose. This is the real challenge, a wide scale inability to make each word count, after all its is our honest words, the reflection of our values and actions, that show who we are.

As leaders, it is up to each of us to model a higher standard of communication. It is our personal challenge to cut out the shits and the damns, and speak with purpose. This is how we better our capabilities to communicate and our abilities to impact people with our words.

I Believe in Gratefulness

"In our daily lives, we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but the gratefulness that makes us happy." -Albert Clarke

I believe in gratefulness, that all we have is all we need, and our personal happiness is created through choosing to be grateful. I understand that we are all faced with hardship, we are limited, and confined, forced to make do with insufficiency and obstacles. But I'd like to believe that we are better for it, that we grow into ourselves through the hardship and struggle we overcome. I believe there is strength in choosing to be grateful. 

My parents came to America with nothhing; fresh after marriage they left their lives behind in India for the promise of a better future. Looking at the success they now hold, their humble beginnings are not often appreciated or remembered, but I will never forget. My mother was only 20 years old, scared, miles away from her family, and faced with a great magnitude of new responsibilities in a foreign world. My father was in over his head, trying to support my mother and himself, working multiple jobs with almost no rest, no sleep, and barely enough to survive another day. Yet every night they would thank God for the food they had before them, the roof over their heads, and the fact that they had each other, their gratefulness was their salvation.  

My father worked as a pizza delivery boy for Dominos, as one of his many part time jobs, he earned minimum wage and was forced to work the night shifts almost every week. But one night his delivery almost took his life. He had just arrived outside a customer's home and was walking towards the main street when the was stopped by a man unidentifiable behind him holding a knife to his neck. The man demanded all the pizza boxes, all my father's money, and complete cooperation, he obliged with only my mother's image in his thoughts keeping him going, keeping him constant. My father walked away with nothing more than momentary fear and a deep gash, with his appreciation for life fully renewed. 

Today my dad is a vice president of marketing in Hitachi Data Systems, but his achievements have not erased the memory of where he began, where he and my mom had come from. They always believed that gratefulness is the key to happiness, and with little to be grateful for, they lived lives of contentment and appreciation. I think that is where I get my sense of gratitude. I am grateful for the life my brother and I enjoy today, and I realize the sacrifice, the hardship, the difficulty that my parents overcame to bring us where we are now. But more importantly I am grateful for the people that raised me with such strong values and morals and purpose, and blazed a trail of pure joy and love that I wish to follow. 

I believe in gratefulness, that all I have is more than enough, and I will continue to count my blessings as long as I live.

She Believes in a Silver Lining

"The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall." -Nelson Mandela

http://thisibelieve.org/essay/3583/

Annaliese Jakimides' son committed suicide when he was 21. Today she keeps his memory alive by talking with everyone she meets - just the way he use to. In these personal connections, Annaliese believes she has found a silver lining in her youngest son's death. Here is an excerpt of her story:

"I'm 57. Divorced after 28 years of marriage, I no longer have a house. I own very little, make a marginal living, and I lost my youngest child to suicide when he was 21. At my core I am grateful for it all - even my son's death. It gave me the lens through which to see everything. 

I believe in a silver lining.

 I will forever carry my son with me. How can a mother not? This is the only choice I had: I could either carry him as a bag of rocks or I could live a life celebrating him."  

I think her story is so powerful. Often we choose to place ourselves in a victim position, and don't find the strength to carry on, to pick ourselves up. Many I'm sure would not have been able to brave such hardship as Annaliese did. Her story is proof that we can be strong, we can continue, and we as individuals are fully capable of achieving great things with a sense of purpose and optimism. When I first heard her story my eyes welled with tears, I could not understand how one who has lost so much has remained so positive, so uplifted, and motivated, her words reinvigorated my spirit. My biggest fear is losing those I love most, the thought of having to live life without them is something I can't yet imagine or come to terms with. I hope when the time comes I will be strong enough to handle myself with the same grace and courage as Annaliese. And until then I will hold her story in my heart and marvel at her strength in moving forward, her essay has forever changed my life. 

"Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before." - Edgar Allan Poe

I think I was afraid to say the least, afraid to leave what was comfortable and known. To me the idea of growing up was as scary as it is was exciting, after high school it seems as though we are thrown headfirst into the unknown. And as a college-bound senior I understood all too well that things were about to change so significantly. I don't think anyone understood why the thought of college was so daunting to me, no one seemed to share my struggle. And the closer I came to graduation, the more I realized it was the future that scared me most.

I began dreaming as a child, wishing I could accomplish so many incredible things in my life. But the reality only truly set in senior year, that I was actively making choices and decisions now that would shape the person I become, the future I would create for myself. And I began to wonder what if I couldn't do it, what if I let myself down? My uncertainty terrified me, and my dreams started to seem too big, too far, too high to reach.  

But I'm still dreaming, the difference is I'm finally doing something about it. I'm not scared anymore, not hesitant nor doubtful, I am finally where I'm supposed to be, excited about what is in store for me.  I feel challenged and inspired everyday, and so blessed to be a part of a community like Santa Clara. College is where the magic happens, the people, the professors, the journey onward is what we all wait for, this is my defining moment.

I think it's funny looking back, just this time last year things were so different. My whole perspective has shifted, and for the better, it seems my optimism has no bounds. In 15 weeks I'd like to think I've already come such a long way from the girl that graduated last June. So let me dream big and far and high, and show the world what I'm made of.